The Unpleasant Side of Parenting

Obviously I adore being a mum (I probably wouldn't have had three children if I didn't) but I am about to share with you some of the unpleasant things myself and my husband have had to do as parents.

This post contains talk of all kinds of bodily fluids so please be warned, it may not be a good post to read whilst eating.
  • Changing nappies is unpleasant enough in itself but I'd love a £ for every time my finger has accidentally slipped into the poop or I've been sprayed with pee (this was mostly my son thanks to his little out of control hose).
  • I can always rely on E to get a lovely snotty stain on my clothes and sometimes even a great big booger right there on my shoulder, I don't think I've ever gone out clean since having children. The same with dribble, E is a particularly dribbly baby so I always seem to have wet patches on me and then I feel the need to explain to every one I come across that it was the baby and not me who dribbled all down my front or down my trouser leg.
  • Picture the scene, hubby is throwing little one up and down in the air and laughter fills the room. Then baby spectacularly throws up mid-flight and where else is it going to go but in hubby's mouth which is open because of the fun sounds he was making whilst playing with little one! I'd like to say I quickly took control of the situation but as hubby was stuck holding baby and covered in puke, I was crying with laughter and running to get the camera so I could capture the moment (never say I'm not a supportive wife).
  • Nose picking - we tell our older children not to pick their noses in public but if little one gets a booger then it becomes my life's mission to remove it no matter where we are. The satisfaction of getting one out so that she can breathe again is epic, but then I'm left rooting around in my bag for a tissue to dispose of said booger which is now sitting on my finger for all the world to see, it's not mine, I promise!
  • Puke is a big part of your baby's life and as a parent you kind of become used to clearing it up, it's pretty much just milk anyway. But as your children get older it becomes much more difficult to handle and as their parent you have to be there for them when they're poorly. This is how I recently found myself sat rubbing N's (and about a week later T's) back as she loudly threw up in a bucket, the smell was unholy and it took everything I had not to join her in throwing up. Then I had the super fun job of emptying the bucket in all its smelly, sicky glory - I gagged the whole time and the rest of the family found it hilarious.
  • Poop talk is another thing that you do a lot of when your child is small, you find yourself discussing their bowel movements whilst having a chat on the phone with friends and family (my pre-baby self would be horrified). I'd like to tell you that poop talk stops as they get older but at 12 and 8 I still find myself having poop discussions with T and N, the thing is poop is actually an important indicator of health so even though it sounds gross, it's important for a parent to know about colour and consistency. Say no more.
  • We all love our children and would do anything for them but would you let your little one feed you with their chewed up leftovers? Our older two definitely did this and recently E did it for the first time, she decided that daddy needed to eat a dribbly half chewed pea, the look on his face was priceless as he made yum yum noises just to please her.
  • Finally, going back to nappies, would you ever have thought you'd be shoving your nose into a nappy to determine whether the awful smell emanating from your baby is poop or just wind. This is something that happens a lot, often we think we know which one it is but often we're wrong. I did it automatically the other day and then realised we were in a restaurant and smelling someones bum in public probably isn't good etiquette (even if that bum is awfully cute).
Pre-children I never would have imagined I'd be able to do any of these things let alone do them without even thinking about it. It just goes to show how the love you have for your children can change everything!

Please feel free to share your unpleasant parenting moments, I'd love to hear about them...
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Comments

  1. The worst moment for me had to be when my daughter got a bead stuck up her nose. We went to A&E and it was disgusting what I had to do. It's called a "Mother's kiss". where you put your mouth over the child's and blow hard....all the snot from the nose and everyhting else comes out all over ya face! but it get's the foregin object out too! Gross. Angela from Daysinbed.com

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    1. Oh my goodness!! That is NOT the kind of kiss I want to give my child, I think I'd have to let daddy do that job haha.

      Thanks for sharing your story, you brave woman you!

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  2. Sooo glad that's all over (and has been for a long time!) although yes, we do discuss bowel movements still ...

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    1. Oh noooo I was hoping that would all end once they reach adulthood!

      Thanks for stopping by Shaz x

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  3. Having just spent the best part of a week helping out when my nine-month old grand-daughter had a really severe case of chicken pox with temperatures around 40 degrees for most of that time, your post was a tonic. She was throwing up the medicine, at one point had a sloppy poo that covered my arm, front of my jumper and leg of my jeans and didn't like mummy, wanted grandma as I wasn't the one giving the medicine! Her worst night my d-in-law slept on the floor and I slept on the sofa with said baby laid out on me in just a nappy and covered in a cotton sheet - we were both fully dressed. As I wasn't supposed to be staying overnight and the visit extended, wearing the same clothes for two days running wasn't even a concern. As for smelling nappies - yes and getting it wrong? Yes, often. Its wonderful to hear a mum talking about the reality of having kids. It isn't easy and as they grow up you do forget a little, but one day you'll be a grandma too! The joy they bring though (I have four grand kids in total) is out of this world. Love your posts!

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    1. Thank you Linn, you always leave such lovely comments! Poor little one, that sounds horrible and for you too. It's so hard when they're poorly, especially with all the unpleasant parts that go with it. Well done for surviving and thank you for stopping by x

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  4. Haha I love this! The spew in the mouth of Daddy thing happened to us too. It was so funny at the time but thinking about it now makes my stomach turn! #thelist K x

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    1. Haha it is stomach turning when you think back on things like that.

      Thanks for commenting!

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  5. Great post! This really made me laugh. Thanks for sharing
    Debbie
    www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you, that's lovely to hear!

      Thanks for stopping by :)

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  6. The most disgusting thing I have heard of was that instead of using the snot sucker one mum just used her mouth because it was easier.......yuk...

    #bigfatlinky

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    1. Oh wow, I have no words! I love my children to bits but I just don't think I could bring myself to do that.

      Thank you for sharing.... I think :)

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  7. Great post. This is something that you don't think pre parenting. But throughout in my mind I was ticking everyone off. :/ slightly worrying really. Parenting is disgusting! Although this did make me laugh knowing it's not just with me! Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky

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    1. I think there might be less babies in the world if everyone really knew what they were letting themselves in for haha. It's always good to know that you're not alone in the gross moments isn't it, I'd like to say it makes you feel like you're in an elite club but there's nothing elite about bodily fluids!

      Thank you for commenting and for hosting the #bigfatlinky :)

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  8. I'm a bum sniffer too, lol, can't believe I just admitted to that!! #bigfatlinky

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    1. Haha that's brilliant! Welcome to the bum sniffers club :D

      Thank you for stopping by.

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