Wasps, Ladybirds and Other Bothersome Bugs

It sounds like the title of a book doesn't it - Wasps, Ladybirds and Other Bothersome Bugs. Well, no, it's not the title of a book, it's the title of the things that somehow manage to smell my fear and make my summer a living hell!
Ladybird
Image courtesy of dan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
You see I'm scared, no not scared, petrified of flying bugs that always seem to dive bomb my head instead of the person next to me (who isn't even afraid of them by the way). Just looking at the photos on this page makes my skin crawl, I simply can't bear them.

I sometimes wonder if I have a great big bug target on my back, a bug beacon if you will. It calls bugs from miles away just to come and terrorise the woman who has fear oozing out of her pores (did I mention they can smell my fear?). I think they enjoy watching me flinch and flail my arms around, they revel in the fact that this person who refuses to exercise is running madly across the field in an attempt to escape them. They're like evil little personal trainers who make me go running against my will.

I picture them at the end of the day sat in their little buggy homes laughing at the spectacle I made of myself and planning their next move. I try not to think about what other people think as I whizz past them like a dribbly, arm waving, hysterical mess. Maybe they think its funny, maybe they feel sorry for me or maybe they want to get away from me as quickly as possible because for some reason I'm grabbing hold of them and trying to hide behind them in the hope that the nasty bug will get them instead of me - maybe they just want me locked up.

Now apparently the best thing to do is stay perfectly still but seriously, how is anyone who is terrified of them supposed to do that? Staying still and letting a wasp buzz in my ear or a ladybird land on me with its creepy crawly legs wandering all over me is just NOT going to happen.
Bee
Image courtesy of dan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Do you know what the worst part of these little stalkers is? They find their way indoors, yes into my own home so they can continue to terrify me in the one place that should be my safe haven. They've actually stolen my safe place! 

I've spent many summer days shut in a room because a big bad bug was residing in the other. I frantically phoned hubby at work but he was miles away and thought I was being ridiculous anyway, so who did I turn to? Good old mum and dad. They have seen me through all my years of bug fear and will happily protect their little girl from all the nasty things in the world. So what if that little girl is actually a 32 year old woman, a parents love is forever! Once the invader had been successfully chased out of my house I decided to shut the door and risk boiling to death because its better than going through all that again.

So in conclusion, wasps, ladybirds and other bothersome bugs are purely out to get me and they enjoy my fear (it clearly smells delicious to them). Should I stop being fearful? Probably, but WILL I stop being fearful? Nope, because once my fear goes away the bugs will have nothing better to do with their time - I'm doing it for their benefit, isn't it obvious!

Are you afraid of bugs? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Comments

  1. In short, no Kate, I'm not afraid of bugs.

    I enjoyed reading your writing - humorous despite your fear.

    Hope you have a relaxed summer :)
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's got to the point where I'd rather laugh about it, if I didn't laugh I think I'd cry :D

      Thank you for commenting x

      Delete

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