A Letter To My Children

To my lovely T, N and E,

When I hear you talking about your hopes, dreams and ambitions for the future, it makes me smile. You talk of becoming a games designer, a games tester, a teacher and sometimes even an Olympic level athlete! Back when I was just a child like you, I didn't have any such dreams, my one and only wish was to be a mummy. I know it might seem unambitious or old-fashioned to you but all I wanted was a family.

This is why, even when you're driving me crazy with your arguments and demands, I enjoy every moment of being your mum. You and your dad are genuinely all I've ever wanted and you bring me happiness beyond anything I ever expected!

When it was just you T, I had no idea what I was doing, being a mummy was exciting but overwhelming. All of a sudden my needs had to be shoved into the background. On your first night in the world I remember being quite put out because I wanted to go to sleep but you had other ideas, this was the exact moment you decided to exercise your lungs and you didn't stop for hours. It was an eye-opening introduction to motherhood and the HUGE learning curve I was about to embark on.

As the years have gone by we've been through so much together, we've always joked that you are the practice-run child because we do everything for the first time with you - first to start school, first to stay away from home, first to go to secondary school, first to hit puberty, first to have a brace etc etc. You handle it well though, you're such a laid-back, caring boy who loves to make people laugh and I couldn't be prouder of the young man you're growing up to be. Yes, even when you're stomping around in all your pre-teen glory, or relentlessly teasing N so she ends up in tears. 

Your teachers have all told me you're an intelligent boy and you always get good grades so I see a bright future for you. That's as long as you don't become too distracted by other things, you do tend to get distracted easily don't you.

You'll always be my sweet little boy T, the one who used to say "can you do me a favour, pwease"!

When you were born N I couldn't believe that I had a little girl, I always thought I'd have a couple of boys before my baby girl came along so you were a wonderful surprise. I'm not going to lie, you were a grumpy baby and a difficult toddler but those in between moments when you would smile at us and do ballet with a lace band on your head, were priceless.

You've had some difficult moments with T over the years, the day he put a giant toy bucket over you and sat on top so you couldn't get out really sticks in my mind. He was only about three and a half so I don't think it was too malicious on his part but it's something you often bring up when he's upsetting you. You give as good as you get now though which makes it so hard for me to mediate, I think you are both so similar that your personalities just clash. The times when you are nice to each other are my favourite, and I know you enjoy them too - life is happier when you're both friends.

Friends
An oldie but a goodie.

I know you wish you weren't the middle child, it's sometimes a tough place to be, but I want you to know that I do my very best to share my love between all of you. I love our little chats about anything and everything, our 'reading minds game' that you always seem to beat me at and our girly shopping trips - you really know how to shop! 

Your skills at gymnastics continue to amaze me, I love watching you as you practice your routines and I will always support any decision you make about your future within the sport. You always put your full effort into the things you do and I love that, it's because of this that your schoolwork has gone from strength to strength. Parents evenings are always a pleasure - who doesn't love hearing what a lovely, bright daughter they have. You don't always believe in your own abilities though and this is something I want you to do, you can achieve anything that you put your mind to N, please don't let negative thoughts stop you from going for something you really want.

You will always be my little princess N, your smile easily lights up my day!

Now it's your turn E, although you won't be able to read it for a while yet. Wow you were a surprise! You will always be a beautiful reminder of our favourite holiday ever and even though you were unexpected, my life wouldn't have been complete without you in it.

You've reached all your milestones so quickly, this year has gone too fast for me. You are absolutely in love with T, N and even Flint, their arrival always brings the biggest smiles to your face. Already you love making people laugh which reminds me so much of T and you have N's independence and climbing abilities. You also have your own unique qualities which make you undeniably E - your love of animals is already shining through and the way you figure out how to do things that you really shouldn't be able to do yet!

Like all babies, there are days when you can be difficult to handle, especially when mummy is tired. You have a bit of a temper which tends to flare when we tell you that you're not allowed to do something. This never lasts long though because you are incredibly easy to get a smile out of, I do love that smile. 

I love watching you walk around the room with your toy handbag on your arm or kicking your ball all over the place. Your cute little pouting lips as you hug the dog always makes me smile, your joy at wrapping your arms around him is infectious and I know he feels it too because of his wagging tail while you're doing it.

Loving your 'gog'.

You have so much to learn but you have two fantastic siblings who I know will support you every step of the way. Mummy and Daddy will also be there to help you achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. I often wonder what dreams and ambitions you will have as you grow older. 

You will always be my little miracle E, I'm so happy you came into our lives! 

All three of you have literally made my dreams come true and I want to thank you for that. I have the family I always wanted, each of you have your own special talents and you make me proud every single day. I'm not perfect but I promise to do my very best for all of you.

I love you all unconditionally, always.

Mummy xxx

Comments

  1. Ah, this made me tearful, it's so beautiful! As we have a little 'E' around the same age at the moment (except she's an 'M' ha! ha!) I know how much joy they bring and how heavy they are to lift ... But what I love about this post is that you are celebrating each of your lovely children in different ways. I have two boys and now four grandkids, and my life would not have been as rich, or wonderful, without them. Even the bad days (tantrums, moodiness, teething - recently chicken pox ..) there are always special, loving moments interlaced. This is a real celebration of what motherhood is all about, kudos to you, Kate! Lxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Linn, that means a lot! I know your little M is putting you through your paces at the moment too :)

      I've wanted to write this letter for quite a while so the children will always know exactly what they mean to me. Although I tell them I love them every day, it's easy to get weighed down by a busy life and forget to say the important things.

      I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment. x

      Delete
  2. Such a lovely post Kate!! Your children are very lucky to have you as their mummy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thank you Heidi, that's a lovely thing to say! x

      Delete
  3. I agree with Heidi! Your children are blessed to have you in their lives too Kate.

    Excuse me while I go away to wipe my tears ...
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Shaz, I hope they think so too! x

      Delete
  4. Kate, that is such a beautiful thing to have written :) x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Dawn, it was something I'd wanted to write for a while so it feels great to have finally done it!

      Thanks for stopping by :)

      Delete
  5. Okay so this brought more than one tear to my eyes! Hubby is now looking at me thinking I am slightly mad! This is truly heartfelt and so well written. If my mum had written something like this to me I would be completely made up. Such a lovely idea, and you are right I tell Monkey constantly that I love him but the other bits get lost in day to day stress. Thank you for sharing xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I think sometimes the words 'I love you' tend to fall on deaf ears - although they hear you say it, they don't always take it in. I hope at some point in the future this letter will show them that they weren't just words :)

      Thank you for stopping by x

      Delete

Post a Comment