How Children Can Be Bad For Your Self-Esteem

Today I'm talking about how the stages of a child's life can change their attitude towards you and how it can sometimes make you feel pretty rubbish. 

When your little ones are little they rely on you for everything, you're their whole world. They look up to you as if you're their own special hero and you have to admit it kind of feels great to be put on a pedestal like that by those you love the most. 

Fast forward to the school years and all that adoration changes. Sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes it's a gradual thing but happen it will. Let me tell you, your self-esteem can take quite a battering when your precious ones decide you're not the best thing since sliced bread after all.

For example:

They go to their new friends houses for tea and when they return they're like different children altogether. Suddenly our way of life just isn't good enough. Our house isn't as big as their friends house and they have a HUGE bedroom. 

Their mum cooked the most delicious food they've ever tasted even though it's something I've been trying to encourage them to eat for ages but they wouldn't because "mum that stuff is gross".

Their car is state of the art (not like our rattly old beast) and they even have a bin that opens just by waving your hand over it - how can we compete with a magic bin!

Then there's plain old embarrassment which, I think, is the most difficult to endure especially when you consider yourself to be a young 'cool' mum. 

I recently had to take T to his school for the Year 9 options evening and the embarrassment was radiating off of him. No I wasn't wearing pyjamas, I didn't have crazy wild hair, I wasn't loud or obnoxious. I was just me. Slightly shy, sit at the back of the room to avoid eye contact, me. 

I won't lie, I was upset about it and questioned everything from my dress-sense to the way I style my hair. But then I remembered what it was like to be a teenager (as I said before I'm a young mum so I can just about remember those days) and realised that, although he might not want to be seen in public with me now, in the future he'll come back to me. 

So even though my self-esteem was slightly dented, I will not take it personally. 

Have your children been through this stage and are now happily out the other side (i.e. no longer visibly cringing every time you open your mouth)? Or are you currently going through it? I'd love to hear about your experiences.


  1. I remember when youngest wanted to marry me Kate. Didn't last long ... but rather sweet at the time. And then of course you become the enemy. They definitely ate different food at friends' houses but wouldn't with us (hoping we wouldn't find out probably).

    I don't think things like magic bins were around when they were younger so probably not as much pressure.

    I do remember a careers evening in secondary and eldest went with his friends while Pete and I went together - separate from him (although bumped into him of course) We got around that one :) He did the Uni stuff on his own and found halls/house rentals without us. Trust/ed him implicitly though and knew he would tell us if he needed us.

    I think I still embarrass them when I'm emotional!!!! I do love the friendships we have now they're older.

    Thanks for the walk down memory lane. Life is good :D xx

    1. And thank you for sharing your experiences Shaz! It's funny how things change over the years, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that, as with your boys, we settle into good friendships in the future 😊 x


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